Mediation

The goal of mediation is to reach a mutually acceptable written agreement.  Mediation is the process where people try to work out or settle their differences with the help of a trained impartial person, called a mediator. The parties meet with the mediator in private sessions. Sometimes the parties meet individually with the mediator. Together the parties and the mediator identify problems and consider possible solutions. When the parties reach mutually acceptable solutions the mediator writes their agreement.

The mediation process is confidential. The parties often have their attorney's at the mediation conference. Sometimes successful mediation takes several conferences.

Why mediate?

Mediation works for many reasons. Mostly mediation works because the parties want to settle their differences instead of letting a Judge do it for them. No one knows their problems better than the parties actually involved. Therefore, they are the best persons to make the decisions. Litigation of differences is destructive. Litigation costs money, time, emotional effort, and stress.

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What is a mediator?

What is a mediator? A mediator is a peacemaker - skilled neutral leader of the mediation conference. The mediator helps the parties communicate. The mediator does not make decisions for the parties. The mediator does not determine who is right or who is wrong. The mediator leads the parties' in problem solving.

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How does mediation work?

The first step in mediation is to agree to go to a mediator. Judges often order mediation before hearing a case. If mediation is court ordered, the parties go to the mediator the Judge selects, unless the parties can agree upon another mediator. The mediator charges hourly fees for time spent. The parties pick the mediator and schedule a mediation conference. The parties and the mediator have meetings together. If an agreement is reached, it is put into writing for the parties' signature, and their attorney’s review. The agreement is usually confirmed by court order.

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How Mediation benefits your children

What can mediation do for my children when I’m getting divorced?

• Help both parents continue their relationship with the children
• Help both parents explain the divorce to the children and answer their questions
• Help both parents deal with problems the children are having as a result of the divorce
• Help both parents cooperate during and after the divorce
• Help both parents understand the emotional needs of their children
• Help both parents decide living arrangements and how they will share time with their children

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What rights do my children have?

• Each child has the right to have two parents; to love each parent without fear of anger or hurt from the other parent
• Each child has the right to be free from hearing their parents personal battles or being used as a spy, messenger or bargaining chip
• Each child has the right not to hear parents criticize, condemn, or complain about the other parent or parent problems

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What makes some children do poorly?

• Continued fighting
• Ongoing litigation
• Fear of abandonment ("if one parent left me, the other one will")
• Children assuming the responsibility to keep the peace
• Parent’s failure to set limits with children. Children need limits, which keep them secure.

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